Mar 28
Drunken Paddy
Paddy had been drinking at his local pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick’s Day.
When he orders another drink, Mick, the bartender, says, “You’ll not be drinking anymore tonight Paddy.”
“OK Mick,” Paddy replies,”I’ll be on my way then.”
He spins around on his stool, steps off, and falls flat on his face. “Ah bejesus!” he curses and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off.
He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face.
He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to the door and some fresh air he’ll be fine.
He belly crawls to the door and pulls himself up the door frame. He then sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out onto the sidewalk and falls flat on his face. “Bi’Jesus… I’m drunk so I am,” he says.
He can see his house just a few doors down, and manages to crawl to the front door He hauls himself up the door frame, opens the door and falls inside.
He takes a look up the stairs and says “Ah, no way”. He clings to the bannister and crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door.
“I can make it to the bed,” he says
He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face.
He pulls himself up by the blanket and falls into bed.
The next morning, his wife, Jess, comes into the room carrying a cup of tea and says, “Get up Paddy, ” she says. “I think you had too much to drink last night.”
Paddy says, “I did Jess. I was rather drunk so I was. But how’d you know?”
“Mick phoned… He said you left your wheelchair at the pub.”
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