Apr 15

Funny classified ads

Tag: Funnyhighena @ 5:19 am

Here are some actual ads that have appeared in classified sections of newspapers:

# Illiterate? Write today for free help.

# Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you’ll never go anywhere again.

# Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.

# Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

# 3-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.

# Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.

# Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.

# Dinner Special — Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00

# For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

# Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

# We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

# Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.

# Tired of cleaning yourself. Let me do it.

# Vacation Special: have your home exterminated. Get rid of aunts. Zap does the job in 24 hours.

# Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.

# For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.

# Man, honest. Will take anything.

# Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated. Come here first.

# Christmas tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.

# Wanted: Hair cutter. Excellent growth potential.

# Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.

# Wanted. Widower with school age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.

# And now, the Superstore-unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.

# We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.

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