Apr 15
Funny classified ads
Here are some actual ads that have appeared in classified sections of newspapers:
# Illiterate? Write today for free help.
# Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you’ll never go anywhere again.
# Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.
# Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
# 3-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.
# Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.
# Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.
# Dinner Special — Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00
# For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
# Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.
# We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
# Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.
# Tired of cleaning yourself. Let me do it.
# Vacation Special: have your home exterminated. Get rid of aunts. Zap does the job in 24 hours.
# Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.
# For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.
# Man, honest. Will take anything.
# Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated. Come here first.
# Christmas tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.
# Wanted: Hair cutter. Excellent growth potential.
# Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
# Wanted. Widower with school age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.
# And now, the Superstore-unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.
# We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.













