Highena

This funny video just goes to show how Facebook has helped mess up some relationships, through status updates, poking and sending of gifts.

An elderly British gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane.

At the French immigration desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag.

“You have been to France before, Monsieur?” the Immigration officer asked, sarcastically.

The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously.

“Then you should know well enough to have your passport ready.”

The British gentleman says, “The last time I was here, I didn’t have to show it.”

“Impossible. The British always have to show their passports on arrival in France!”

The elderly gentleman gave the French Immigration Officer a long hard look.

Then he quietly explained;

“Well, the last time I was here, I came ashore on Juno Beach on D-Day in June 1944, and I couldn’t find any Frenchmen to show it to.”

Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry’s Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse- sized tazer. The effects of the tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety——-

WAY TOO COOL! L ong story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I’d get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.

AWESOME!!!
Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy thinking to myself that it couldn’t be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?

> > > So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and tazer in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant.. A two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control and a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.
> > >
> > > All the while I’m looking at this little device measuring about 5″ long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries), pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, ‘no possible way!’ What happened next is almost beyond description, but I’ll do my best.
> > >
> > > I’m sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side so as to say, Don’t do it stupid,’ reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little thing couldn’t hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and …….
> > >
> > > HOLY MOTHER OF GOD… WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRCCfION. .. WHAT THE …. !!!
> > >
> > > I’m pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking upon my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.
> > >
> > > Note: If you ever feel compelled to ‘mug’ yourself with a tazer, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself you will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor! A three second burst would be considered conservative!
> > >
> > > A minute or so later (I can’t be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel above the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. and had no control over the drooling.

> > > Apparently I had crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair. I’m still looking for my testicles and I’m offering a significant reward for their safe return!

> > > P.S … My wife can’t stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it!
> > >
> > > If you think education is difficult, try being stupid I!

The class project was to draw a picture of what the children wanted to be when they grow up. This was one little girl’s vivid depiction – she wanted to be just like mommy…

Here’s the letter that followed from mom to teacher:

Dear Ms. Davis,

I want to be very clear on my child’s illustration. It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint. I work at Home Depot and had commented to my daughter how much money we made in the recent snowstorm. This photo is of me selling a shovel.

Mrs. Harrington

I keep coming across these adverts promising secrets for getting a quick sixpack, seeing these great before & after pics of fatty to muscle bound hunk, so I thought I’d check it out and give one of these ads a click.

It seems the trick behind getting ripped in 4 weeks – or at least according to Steve and his affiliate products – is acai berry juice. The problem with this acai berry is that it not only turns fat to muscle it also goes to work on the face.

Check out Steve’s chin before and after…

The problem with adverts they can often be in the wrong place at the wrong time, especially these days with online advertising, where their placement cannot be controlled by the site owners. Popular news sites seem to be the biggest victims of this embarrassment as this videos demonstrates.

A collection of some the world’s greatest mazes as seen from above with Google Earth.

A cool video going through the history of Lego. By Funny Facts

This is what Youtube was made for! Ever had a vivid dream that seemed almost like a prophecy? Well post it on the internet. Imagine if the dream comes true, you’ll be hailed as some kind of messiah. And if it doesn’t come true…

Leonardo Da Vinci hid many pieces of music in his paintings. By joining up prominent parts on the painting musical notes are formed. Here are the hidden notes of the Last Supper played.