Jun 16 2007

Talking parrots

Tag: Jokeshighena @ 2:08 pm

A woman goes to her priest one day and tells him, “Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.”

“What do they say?” the priest inquired. “They say ‘Hi, we’re prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?’”

“That’s obscene!” the priest exclaimed. Then he thought for a moment. “You know,” he said, “I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots whom I have taught to pray and read the bible. Bring your two female parrots over to my house, and we’ll put them in the cage with Francis and Job. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship, and your parrots are sure to stop saying …that phrase… in no time.”

“Thank you,” the woman responded, “this may very well be the solution.” The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest’s house. As he ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage, holding rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them. After a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison: “Hi, we’re prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?”

There was a stunned silence. Finally, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed, “Put the beads away, Francis, our prayers have been answered!”


Jun 16 2007

Child on the tracks

Tag: Funny, Videoshighena @ 9:58 am

This grandmother uses some quick thinking to save her baby grandson.


Jun 13 2007

Bank of America scam

Tag: Hoaxeshighena @ 1:48 pm

Another new scam. DO NOT click the link if you receive an email like this:

Your Bank Of America account is Blocked !

Dear Bank of America customer, we recently reviewed your account, and suspect that your Bank of America account may have been accessed by an unauthorized third party. Protecting the security of your account is our primary concern. Therefore, as a preventative measure, we have temporarily limited access
to sensitive account features.

Please login into your account to reset your passcode and resolve the problem.

Log in : https://www.bankofamerica.com

Tank you for your patience as we work together to protect your account.

Sincerely,
Bank of America Customer Service


Jun 09 2007

Funny newspaper ads

Tag: Funnyhighena @ 2:23 pm

Hard to believe these actually genuine, but they are.

funny-newspaper-ads-mistakes-and-bloopers.jpg


Jun 09 2007

Ed the mechanic

Tag: Jokeshighena @ 2:11 pm

A man is drivng down a country lane when his car suddenly breaks down. He gets out and opens the bonet, and while he’s examining inside he hears a voice from behind him.

“That’ll be your spark plugs, mate. Give them a clean and you should be able to start the engine.”

The guy looks round and sees a horse in the field.

“What the… Did you just say that?” he asks the horse.

“Sure did,” the horse says.

“A talking horse?”

“Like I said,” the horse goes on, “give the spark plugs a bit of a clean.”

The man, dumbfounded, does as the horse suggests, then gets in the car and turns the ignition. Sure enough the car starts first time.

He puts his head out the window. “Well thanks, Mr Horse.”

“No problem,” the horse says. “Have a good day.”

A few miles down the road the guy sees a pub, and pulls over. “I’ve got to have a drink after that.”

He goes in the pub and says to the barman, “You won’t believe what just happened to me.”

“What’s that then?” the barman asks.

“My car broke down up the road there, and when I got out a horse told me how to fix it.”

“A black horse?” the barman asks.

“That’s right,” the guy answers.

“Lucky it wasn’t the white one,” the barman says. “He knows nothing about cars.”


Jun 04 2007

UK lottery scam

Tag: Hoaxeshighena @ 10:27 pm

I don’t even read these scam emails anymore. One day I’ll probably get a genuine email notifying me of a jackpot win, and the windfall will go unclaimed.

NATIONAL LOTTERY
Support Centre
Bevan House
51 Bevan Avenue
London, United Kingdom
FROM: THE DESK OF THE PROMOTIONS MANAGER,
INTERNATIONAL PROMOTION/PRIZE AWARD DEPARTMENT
REF: UNL/26510460037/02
BATCH: 24/00319/IPD

ATTENTION: Sir/Madam,
RE/AWARD NOTIFICATION; FINAL NOTICE

We happily announce to you the draw (#1183) of the UK NATIONAL LOTTERY,
online Sweepstakes International program held on Wed 25 April 2007. Your
e-mail address attached to ticket number: 023-0148-790-459 with Serial
number 5073-11 drew the lucky numbers: 01 07 25 31 32 39 bonus ball 18 which
subsequently won you the lottery in the 2nd category i.e match 6. You have
therefore been approved to claim a total sum of ?1,000,000 (One Million
Pound Sterling Only) in cash credited to file REF NO. UNL/26510460037/02.

This is from a total cash prize of ?5,000,000 shared amongst the second
five (5) lucky winners in this category. Draw 1183 Wed 25 April 2007.

Jackpot ?5,000,000.

NUMBER OF MATCHES No OF WINNERS ?s PER WINNER TOTAL
Match 6 5 ?1,107,042.80 ?5,535,214
Match 5 plus bonus 7 ?243,306 ?1,703,142
Match 5 381 ?2,793 ?1,064,133
Match 4 26475 ?88 ?2,329,800
Match 3 561913 ?10 ?5,619,130

Additional Information Jackpot winner(s) 2 Machine used for draw MOONSTONE
Winners by Lucky Dip 216277 Ball set used 7. All participants for the online
version were selected randomly from World Wide Web sites through computer
draw system and extracted from over 100,000 unions, associations, and
corporate bodies that are listed online. This promotion take place weekly.

Please note that your lucky winning number falls within our European
booklet representative office in Europe as indicated in your play coupon. In
view of this, your ?1,000,000 (One Million Pounds Sterling Only), would be
released to you by any of our payment offices in Europe.

Our European agent will immediately commence the process to facilitate the
release of your funds as soon as you contact him. For security reasons, you
are advised to keep your winning information confidential till your claim is
processed and your money remitted to you in whatever manner you deem fit to
claim your prize.

This is part of our precautionary measure to avoid double claiming and
unwarranted abuse of this program. Please be warned.

To file for your claim, please contact our European Paying Bank; Post Bank
NL in The Netherlands through the Director, Processing/Foreign Exchange
Department (FOREX)

Dr. Paul Daniel
Email:postbanknlforex@aol.co.uk
Or pldnlforex@aol.co.uk
Also provide him with the following details too:

Full Names:
Telephone
Fax number:
Nationality:
Age:
Occupation:
For due processing and remittance of your prize money, please remember to
quote your reference and batch numbers in every one of your correspondences
with your agent. Remember, all prize money must be claimed not later than
4weeks. After this date, all funds will be returned as unclaimed.

Furthermore, should there be any change of your address, do inform your
claims agent as soon as possible.

Congratulations again from all our staff and thank you for being part of
our promotional lottery program.

Sincerely,
Beatrix Elis Jan
Zonal Co-ordinator


Jun 04 2007

THE BMW INTERNATIONAL AWARENESS PROMOTION scam

Tag: Hoaxeshighena @ 10:22 pm

A new email scam this one, fresh in my inbox today.

PRIZE AWARD!!!

THE INTERNATIONAL AWARENESS
PROMOTION DEPARTMENT
22 Isabella RichardStraat,
3271, PE , Den Haag
The Netherlands.
Reference Number: BMW:2551256003/23

!!!CONGRATULATION YOU ARE A WINNER!!!.
The Board of Directors, members of staff and the International Awareness Promotion
Department of the BMW Automobile Company, wishes to congratulate you on your success
as the STAR PRIZE WINNER in this years’ BMW Automobile International Awareness
Promotion (IAP) held in March, 2007,in Netherlands.

This makes you the proud owner of a brand new BMW 5 Series, M Sport Saloon car and a
prize of Five Hundred and Fifty Thousand (550,000) Euros. The car comes with a
special BMW Insurance Cover for one whole year, that is, till the next promotion in
December, 2007. It also comes with a one year warranty and FREE repairs at any BMW
AUTOMOBILE depot or service station worldwide.. As a winner you are responsible for
the legal charges for the notarization.

DESCRIPTION OF PRIZE VEHICLE.

YEAR: 2006, MODEL: 550i M Sport Saloon
The selection process was carried out through random selection in our Computerized
Email Selection System (C.E.S.S.) from a database of overa millionemail addresses
from the world wide web. Each email address was attached to a ticket number and your
email address withticket number: 5647600545188 and serial number:
BMWP/556543450906was randomly selected as the star prize winner amongst other
consolation prize winners.

For you to collect your prizes, kindly fill the verification form below and send it
to the Claims Manager, Mr.Eddy Van Bakkerof our claims department through email,
stating your receipt of this notification. He has been mandated to offer you
assistance andfacilitate the urgent delivery of your prizes.

Claims Manager:
Mr.Eddy Van Bakker.
BMW Claims Department
EMAIL: bmwclaimsnl@dacafe.com
PHONE NUMBER: +31 64-284-8411
FAX NUMBER: +31 84-754-6157

VERIFICATION FORM:

1.) FULL NAME:
2.) AGE:
3.) SEX:
4.) ADDRESS:
5.) ZIP/POSTAL CODE:
6.) STATE/PROVINCE:
7.) COUNTRY:
8.) PHONE:
9.) OCCUPATION/POSITION:
10.) COMPANY:
11.) EMAIL ADDRESS:
12.) TICKET NUMBER:
13.) SERIAL NUMBER:

Congratulations once more,and keep trusting BMW Automobile for top quality automobiles.

Engr.Peter M. Reed
DIRECTOR OF PROMOTIONS,
INTERNATIONAL AWARENESS PROMOTIONS,
BMW AUTOMOBILE.
DEN HAAG, THE NETHERLANDS .

THE BMW INTERNATIONAL AWARENESS PROMOTION
COPYRIGHT ©2007. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED


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