Highena

A big thank you to my good friend DJ Roni B for this one.

I came across this one a few years ago, but it’s still very funny.

Two guys entered Heathrow Airport disguised as taxi drivers and placed a tape recorder under a loudspeaker. They then took it in turns going to the announcements desk saying they were there to pick somebody up and all they had was a slip of paper with the name on.

Below are the names on the notes, followed by what it sounded like over the tanoy system.

Arheddis Varkenjaab and Aywellbe Fayed

I hate this fucking job, and I will be fired

Arhev Bin Fayed and Bybeiev Rhibodie

I have been fired, and bye-bye everybody

Aynayda Pizaqvick and Malexa Kriest

I need a piss quick, and my legs are crossed

Awul Dasfilshabeda and Nowaynayda Zheet

Aa-ooh, that feels better, and now I need a shit

Makollig Jezvahted and Levdaroum DeBahzted

My colleague just farted, and left the room, the bastard

Steelaygot Maowenbach and Tuka Piziniztee

Still, I got my own back and took a piss in his tea

When the announcers cottoned on that they’d been pranked, they threatened to have the perpetrators arrested. Jeez, some people just haven’t got a sense of humour.

To hear the actual recordings of the prank go here

Sender: Category A Subject: AWARD CLAIM NOTIFICATION!!

This was in my inbox today. This scam is a new twist on the Nigerian 419 scam
Here’s how it works - you think you’ve won a few million dollars, but in order to release the money you will have to pay a fee first. Or, you will be coaxed into giving your bank details “so the money can be paid straight into your bank”.

As much as you may want to believe you’ve won a lottery you haven’t even participated in, please don’t fall for this scam.

Here’s the email:

LUCKY No: 9-43-97 I.D
RESULTS STAATSLOTERIJ.NL AWARD.
No 21 MANNI-STRAAT 1309HA AMSTERDAM/NETHERLANDS
FROM THE DESK OF THE DIRECTOR:
BATCH No: 573881545-NL/2007
TICKET No:PP 3502 /8707-01
SERIAL No: 05908 LUCKY No: 9-43-97
WINNING EMAIL NOTIFICATION [FOR CATEGORY "A" WINNER ONLY].

Yours truly,
Walter Jones
Promotion Manager.
THANK YOU AND CONGRATULATIONS!!!

I was browsing though the comic section of the paper this morning when I came across a cartoon by Dan Piraro which I liked. It was a strange picture of the Grim Reaper at a crafts fare, selling coffins and skulls and other deathly paraphernalia. I noticed Dan had a website, Bizarro, so I had a look when I logged on.

I really like Dan’s style. His pictures have a very quirky look and most of them gave me a good chuckle. I particularly liked the pictures for his book, The Three little Pigs. The book is a satirical take on the White House, following the adventures of the three little pigs, Dicky, Rummy and Dubya.

Dan is a vegan and has some very sobering thoughts on eating meat, which certainly made me think.

If you like Dan’s work you can buy posters and prints here.