Apr 15 2007

My friend’s crazy

Tag: Jokeshighena @ 6:05 pm

lightbulb1.gif

A psychologist was doing his morning rounds, when he entered a patient’s room to find his patient sitting on the floor, sawing at a piece of wood with the side of his hand. Meanwhile, another patient was hanging from the ceiling by his feet.

The doctor asked his patient what he was doing, sitting on the floor.

The patient replied in an irritated fashion, “Can’t you see I’m sawing this piece of wood in half?”

The doctor inquired, “And what is the fellow hanging from the ceiling doing?”

“Oh. He’s my friend, but he’s a little crazy. He thinks he’s a light bulb.”

The doctor asked, “If he’s your friend, don’t you think you should get him down from there before he hurts himself?”

“What? And work in the dark?”


Apr 15 2007

Funny classified ads

Tag: Funnyhighena @ 5:19 am

Here are some actual ads that have appeared in classified sections of newspapers:

# Illiterate? Write today for free help.

# Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you’ll never go anywhere again.

# Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.

# Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

# 3-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.

# Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.

# Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.

# Dinner Special — Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00

# For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

# Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

# We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

# Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.

# Tired of cleaning yourself. Let me do it.

# Vacation Special: have your home exterminated. Get rid of aunts. Zap does the job in 24 hours.

# Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.

# For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.

# Man, honest. Will take anything.

# Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated. Come here first.

# Christmas tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.

# Wanted: Hair cutter. Excellent growth potential.

# Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.

# Wanted. Widower with school age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.

# And now, the Superstore-unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.

# We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.

images_ad01.gif